Sunday, September 30, 2007

Animal Facility Manager

OK, so let's say you're job hunting out here. An Animal Facility Manager--sounds great! Who doesn't love animals, right?

Well...

We have an immediate opening within our Biology & Pharmacology Department for an Animal Facility Manager with the talents and interests listed below.

Both talents and interests, huh? Let's see whatcha got!
1. Oversees the activities of the animal care facility.

Great, no problem there!
2. Performs various technical procedures, e.g., bleeding, surgery, autopsies and inoculations biopsies.

Oh, it's that kind of animal facility. Let's skip ahead, shall we?
7. Is prepared to go beyond the usual work schedule to accomplish critical tasks.

Does that mean you've gotta bleed 'em on overtime?
8. The Animal Facility will use controlled substances (anesthesia and euthanasia) under DEA registration to the manager. It is expected that the manager have no state or federal criminal convictions in connection with controlled substances and has not had a federal controlled substance registration revoked, suspended, restricted or denied.

Yikes! They're not kidding around here! Bleeding, autopsies, controlled substances... Must be a pretty hard-core place, right?
We also have great people, ample resources and a serious, but fun working environment.

And how!

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